Sonntag, 2. September 2007

na super,

da hat man magenschmerzen, dass man nicht mehr aufrecht gehen kann (und betet, dass die bis montag weg sind), und dann liest man eine blödelmail vom schnucki. gespräche, die bei gericht so stattgefunden haben.
lachen tut weh.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitin me?

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

und jedesmal beim lachen ein stechender schmerz im magen und im brustbereich. naaaa toll.... danke schnucki!! (aber shice, ein paar von denen sind einfach unfassbar geil...)
graefin - 2. Sep, 16:12

"ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!"


DER ist echt herrlich!!!

nunette - 2. Sep, 16:44

ich find den mit der beendeten ehe recht nett. :) aber eigentlich: alle :D und heut kann ich auch endlich wieder lahcen...
graefin - 2. Sep, 19:04

Ich versuch das "-" zu ignorieren und WOLLTE einfach lachen. Schön, dass du die beiden Einträge hast ;)
nunette - 2. Sep, 19:44

hä?
graefin - 2. Sep, 21:57

Ich versuche mein Minus auf dem Konto zu ignorieren ;)
nunette - 3. Sep, 07:45

aaach. darin bin ich gut, das geht ganz einfach. ist alles nur ein bindestrich, und was sind schon zahlen bitte...

auch was erlebt?

für eiei-machen für schimpfer für liebesbriefe für fragen für senf - nunu.twoday@gmx.net

ohne geht gaaar nix

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